2018: Year in review
Fraser Nelson argues, as the year draws to a close, that 2018 has been a good one for Britain, in terms of daily life, despite how terrible the headlines have often been. Allow me to be solipsistic for a moment and to say that, as far as my life is concerned, 2018 has been something of a vintage year.This time last year
I lived in a small, rented studio flat. Too small for my expanding life and maturing sense of myself, and too insecure really for me to think of it as home. But it was home, and the only home I had, in spite of saving regularly towards a deposit, which meant going without the other things in life I would have wished for. It was perfect for me when I moved in, but after nearly four years, I felt most frustrated to be there. Added to this was a desire to move forward in my career, which created an overall sense of restlessness, sometimes getting the better of me.
Furthermore, I was feeling less than confident in myself personally, for I had just bought a new suit - Charles Tyrwhitt - and it was huge, shockingly big, and it brought home to me how large I was getting. I suppose I thought, 'this is it, I'm fat now' and left it at that, but it also left me conscious of my weight in a way I had not been since I was at the other end of the scale: too thin. I tried halfheartedly to do extra exercise but the motivation was not there. I hoped no one would notice; as it was, most people were just too polite to comment.
Heading into 2019
I now live in my first home. It's weird. I can hang pictures up. I can put curtains up. If I want to, I can paint the walls. I am still not accustomed to these thoughts, but now that I am at liberty to think this way, I have run away with the idea of turning the corridor - my corridor - into an art gallery. How luxurious! And the feeling of security has been liberating in other ways, in terms of hobbies. I have begun brewing my own beer: first batch was toxic, lethally strong, which pleased me immensely. I have also taken to doing work on my guitars, and teaching myself how to maintain them. To cap it all, I have lost a lot of weight, and I feel so much more confident in myself for having done so. The only drawback is that new clothes cost a ton, and I am so out of the habit of shopping to look good that I have no idea what I should buy. Added to progression in my career which has taken place since then, and I can look back upon 2018 as one of real forward movement in my life.
Achievements
I have finished a first draft for a novel, written many poems and short stories and started a new album of music, which is shaping up nicely. My greatest achievement has been the long treks that I undertook solo, and which I recorded in film and picture. The journey to Hastings was the hardest, as I was a total novice and really quite naive, but I learned from it. The journey to Canterbury was far more successful, but also very moving, in a way I still find mysterious. I think about the days I spent on the track, the hardship I went through and the euphoria it engendered in me, and my mind now points to the Spring and Summer with a kind of hunger to be back out there, seeking some elusive thing I last found in Canterbury, and which remains there, somehow.
Objectives for 2019
You might call these 'resolutions', and some of them are, but a resolution implies a change to one's lifestyle, outlook or approach, which not all of these things are:
- Get the novel drafted to a standard that I can send it to an agent
- Get a story or poem published somewhere
- Get fit, not so much to lose weight as to tone up and be healthy
- Finish the album of music and vanity publish it
- Play live more often
- Watch more local rugby
And much more, I am sure. But this is a good enough list to begin with.
I wish everyone a happy, productive, secure and successful 2019.
